I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
