Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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