i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
