I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
zippers are such a cool invention
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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