I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
