How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
