Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
