Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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