If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
