your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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