Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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