so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
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Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
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We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize