i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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