You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
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I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
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Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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