We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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