She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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