he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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