Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so let's talk penis.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
