um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i dont even know how to be here
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
