It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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