You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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