I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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