He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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