Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
