before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
