You made me cry and you don't even care
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i dont even know how to be here
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Randomize
