So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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