she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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