I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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