She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize