omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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