Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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