Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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