herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
