there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize