So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize