i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
These tits shall not be calmed
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
