Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
