Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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