Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize