I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
