i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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