marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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