Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I party with great urgency now.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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