you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
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She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
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He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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