Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
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His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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