All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
