today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
