its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
