He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
How does it feel to date your dad?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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