so let's talk penis.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
