did you get engaged???
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
