Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
