I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
