i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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