I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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