I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
