It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
