you guys were way drunker than both of me
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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