the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
