I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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