Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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